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[krmvgivv]

Hey, you've reached Dipper! I'm not here right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you soon!

...

But if this is paranormal-related? Hang up now, call back, let it ring exactly twice, then hang up again. Don't leave a message. I'll get back to you even sooner.


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[shorthair]

( It breaks her heart. Sometimes she thinks everything that happens can't reach her anymore, and then- then it happens to someone she cares about. It's different. It brings it right back to her all over again. )

Knowing it's right, it doesn't change you still had to shoot someone you love to do it. It doesn't change the cost, and it doesn't change you've got to carry it now.

And it doesn't change it's bullshit you had to do it at all. ( Her voice shakes a little with anger, with concern. )

[krmvgivv]

[He squeezes her hand, grimacing a little.]

I... I know. I mean, it could be worse, right? [Not much worse. But it could have been.] He could have... actually turned and tried to kill me. At least this was... [He gulps.] Easy.

[There was nothing easy about it.]

[shorthair]

( It would have been worse for Wirt if he'd actually turned and tried to kill him, but- but it's much easier to kill a walker version of someone they love instead of the- the still human them. The one that's not rotting, the one that's not a hungry monster. She doesn't disagree with him out loud though. )

Dipper, there's nothing easy about it. It shouldn't be easy. It's- ( Her arms wind around him then in a hug as her throat clogs with emotion. ) It's the hardest thing, and it's okay to feel that.

[krmvgivv]

[He goes limp against her, still a little too much in shock to hug back.]

Is this... have you... [He swallows, not quite able to finish the question. Besides, he knows the answer.]

[shorthair]

Yeah.

The man who found me and took care of me for almost a year. Lee. ( one day maybe it won't hurt to say his name, but he died because of her- he got bit because of her before she ever put a bullet in his head. ) I shot him after he got bit. I was a lot younger then.

[krmvgivv]

I'm sorry.

[How much worse would it have been if it was someone who'd been taking care of you? He tries to imagine shooting Stan and wants to throw up again.]

Zombies are so stupid.

[shorthair]

( Clementine shakes her head. It was a long time ago, and she was different then. She's sorry too though that it happened, that Dipper had to do it at all. She presses a hand to her face before she nods. )

They're so stupid.

They're the worst. I just wanted you to know you're not alone with it- I mean, killing someone you love.... so they wouldn't become something worse.

[krmvgivv]

[He gives a jerky half nod. He doesn't totally know what to say to that. How can he simultaneously be glad he doesn't have to feel alone and so sad that Clementine has to feel the way he does?

It's complicated. And so, so stupid.]

At... at least it's not permanent here. Wirt's fine.

[shorthair]

Yeah, I'm glad he's back. He's alive again. He knows he didn't get the chance to bite anyone else or to be- to be one of those fucking things. That's important.

I don't know what it's like to die here, but even coming back, it's still gotta feel- ( Clementine shakes her head. It still has to feel like losing something.

Maybe. She swallows and shakes her head. )

[krmvgivv]

You haven't died here? [Dipper has. Twice. It wasn't fun.] How long have you been here?

[shorthair]

Almost a year. ( It's probably only a matter of time before she dies too. It sort of seems inevitable. ) I know surviving means staying out of trouble so usually I hide when Events are really dangerous. Sometimes it means not doing the right thing too. It means doing something fucked up or screwing someone else over.

...and sometimes you can do everything you can to survive, and you still die.

[krmvgivv]

And sometimes you're just dumb and think things won't be as dangerous as they are and you die and other people die too and it's all your fault.

[He's died twice, though not for a long time now. He holds onto the guilt, though. Even now.]

[shorthair]

I've been dumb before too, and people died because of it. ( It's how Lee died. It's how everyone died when she walked away from them, thinking the man on the radio knew where her parents were. ) It's shitty, but-

( Her voice cuts off, and she shakes her head. )

I'm sorry you died. I'm sorry you know what it's like.

( to carry that kind of guilt )

[krmvgivv]

It was a while ago now.

[He leans against her shoulder.]

I got a lot more careful. We all did.